I briefly considered posting the first 250 words of my film essay in place of a blog this week. Except I actually haven’t written 250 words yet because I’ve spend the last hour writing a blog. I finish uni for the semester next week and so hopefully I’ll have a little more energy to knock out some quality blogs over the break but today there is this. The disadvantage of posting every week is that sometimes there are weeks like this one. Today I am low on time and inspiration so I spent a lot of time Googling questions I could answer and I came across a thing called “30 questions about me”. I found these questions on Tumblr. You have been warned.
1. What’s your full name?
Alexandra Beatrice Neill. The Beatrice part is not funny.
3. What’s your star sign?
The one that’s named after a disease.
4. What’s your hair colour?
The other night I spent about ten minute staring at myself in the mirror trying to work out if my hair is dark enough to be considered black.
I told you all the uni work is affecting me.
5. What’s your eye colour?
Can we have a chat about the fact that we just use regular colours to define things like eyes and hair? Literally no one has “brown” eyes. Eyes are always murky, swirly, complicated colours and they usually have bits of other colours in them.
If we want to go by societal norms though then my eyes are probably something akin to hazel.
6. Have you ever been in love?
No. My boyfriend is the worst. I hate him.
7. Who was your first crush?
I had a crush on Harry Potter when I was ten. This is a true story.
8. How long was your last relationship?
I’ve been having a will-they-won’t-they relationship with this packet of Hobnobs for about an hour now.
9. Ever cried over a boy?
Last time I played Quidditch I was bludgered in the windpipe. That made me cry; a boy did that.
10. Are you missing someone?
I think that living in the modern world means that we are almost constantly missing people. We’re closer together but further apart.
Yes. Otherwise I would die because that is how humans work.
12. Ever been so drunk that you don’t remember all the night?
No but seriously, why is this fun? As someone who obsessively chronicles their existence, the idea of drinking so much that I forgot a chunk of my life is just terrifying.
I take drugs every day. They are my favourite thing because they mean I can breathe and not have an asthma attack and die.
The other day I realised that loneliness scares me. That’s a thing. I also continue to be afraid of escalators.
15. Do you believe in fate?
16. Do you believe in karma?
Do I believe that if you are not a dick then sometimes not-bad things will happen to you? I guess.
17. Who did you last speak on the phone to?
My dad rang this morning. Hi dad.
Someone in the Tumblr tag for this post had written “My friend Jesus” for this question. I am unsure if someone actually named their child Jesus or if this person believes they have a mobile connection to God.
18. What’s your favourite film?
Muppet Treasure Island. Please don’t tell my film studies teacher.
19. What film did you last watch?
Hans Richter’s Rhythm 21
. I should be writing an essay about it instead of writing dumb blog posts.
20. What books are you reading?
I’m currently reading Phonogram- The Singles Club. Which is a comic but it still counts. It’s really good and if I didn’t keep spending all my time doing homework and writing blog posts I would have finished it already.
Here’s a fun fact: I’m technically allergic to cats. I’m also really allergic to dust mites and house dust. Because “house dust” is a thing you can be allergic to.
What kind of question is this? Daytime because that’s primarily when I’m conscious?
23. What can’t you live without?
I don’t even have my ears pierced. There’s another fact for you.
If I ever did get a tattoo I’ve always thought it would be kind of handy to get LEFT and RIGHT tattooed on the back of my hands. This would be stylish, practical and hilarious.
26. What attracts you to the opposite sex?
This is a very homophobic question. It should just be “what attracts you to people you are attracted to”.
27. Who did you last kiss?
Why do these stupid lists always have questions like this? Is this really the best way to get to know me? Pish. I am not answering your dumb question.
28. What’s the last song you listened to?
The Interval Song by Tim Minchin. Because it’s the last track on my Musical Comedy Mixtape and I was listening to that in the car this morning.
Please see question 27.
30. What did you want to be as kid?
I wanted to be a teacher for a long time but I think that was just because both my parents were teachers. After that I wanted to be a writer.
I also briefly toyed with the idea of “ballerina” when in kindergarten. I think this probably says something about society.
Because I understand that this doesn’t really count as a blog, I am willing to take suggestions for punishment. That’s a thing people do on the internet.
If you can think of a thing that I could do and then blog about it to make up for this rubbish, please leave your suggestion in the comment.