50 things Alex has learnt at university.

1- Soft serve sundaes do not count as dinner, no matter how much extra stuff you add to them.
2- Always take a whisk to a party.
3- If you drive for long enough you will find a McDonalds.
4- Monty Python is relevant to all subjects. No exception.
5- The later in the afternoon the tutorial is, the more likely it is to contain people too lazy to get their head around the registration system.
6- People queuing for a free barbeque will not necessarily know the occasion the barbeque is celebrating.
7- Attending a lecture will not automatically make you learn. You actually have to listen.
8- 9am is not a civilized hour for anything.
9- The 11pm P plate curfew should be taken into account during the early stages of planning. Not at 10:45.
10-  Spontaneity is always good idea.
11- Randomly introducing yourself to strangers has about a 60/40 success rate.
12- Midnight is a perfectly reasonable bedtime. In fact it is early.
13- It is possible for a path to be uphill in both directions.
14- No one has ever read a whole Shakespeare play in a week. Anyone who says they have is lying.
15- You cannot absorb information by lying on your textbooks.
16- Within the limits of reason and legality, everything is worth trying once.
17- Super-fast three-point turns are a valuable life skill.
18- Majoring in writing does not make blogging a legitimate substitute for studying.
19- If you’ve ever wondered who still uses Power Point you have never attended university.
20- When preparing to go out of an evening it is worth considering whether or not the clothes you are wearing are comfortable to sleep in.
21- Academic essays on Elizabethan poetry should not contain sexual references.
22- Anything is an acceptable topic for research at a tertiary level.
23- It is possible to guess what discipline a group of students are studying by observing their clothing choice.
24- The world is a very small place.
25- You can spend large amounts of money buying books and feel bitter about it.
26- Practice is the key to mastering all skills.
27- The answer to the question “should I have more tea?” is always yes.
28- Similarly, when someone offers you tea it is pointless to try and resist.
29- If you eat giant lolly-pop for lunch you will fell ill.
30- The more ridiculous the activity sounds the more you should consider participating in it.
31- If someone is not willing to discuss the zombie apocalypse at reasonable length it is unlikely we will become firm friends.
32- Nerds have more fun.
33- Living on campus isn’t for everyone. The internet connection, however, is pretty damned impressive.
34- When playing musical comedy in communal areas it is important to remember that housemates will invariably enter during the really bad bit.
35- On lonely nights the internet is both your greatest ally and worst enemy.
36- When you have a pool table in your living room, learning to play suddenly becomes a priority.
37- The less your social life consists of the more likely you are to live-tweet your existence.
38- Without decent recording abilities it is impossible to maintain both a social life and a television addiction.
39- Channel Ten’s online media player is a fetid heap of dingo’s kidneys.
40- Menial household maintenance can be incredibly satisfying.
41- A slow cooker is your friend.
42- The percentage of people likely to understand a specific reference is significantly higher than it was at high school.
43- Lectures are more enjoyable when you have someone to poke you occasionally and make sure you’re conscious.
44- An Arts Degree is mostly about reading.
45- People from Coffs Harbour think Grafton is a hole despite only having ever been to the McDonalds.
46- People who are not from Coffs Harbour or Grafton do not really appreciate loud arguments about both towns respective merits (or lack there of).
47- K-Mart. Amazing.
48- Anything bought in an op-shop is automatically better than anything bought elsewhere.
49- Spaghetti with vegemite, butter and cheese. Try it.
50- Very little of being at university is actually about university.

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year