A day in the life…

To the casual observer it might seem like the TV life is a rather glamorous one. If nothing else it certainly sounds exciting, right? Following my last entry, I thought I’d show you some of the boring bits- the blood, swear and tears I mentioned. Here is a blow by blow account of my least pleasant day of interning.

Friday 30th April

5:48AM– Wake up. Still twelve minutes until I have to get up. Try to go back to sleep. Fail.

6:00AM- TIME TO GET UP! THE TIME IS SIX O’CLOCK dada dada

6:18AM– My toast is burnt. Blegh.

7:08AM- Catch bus. Think its going to rain.

7:50AM- Arrive at Moore Park. It is raining.

8:00AM- Arrive at office. We’re meant to start at eight which fails to explain why I’m the only one who’s ever here. As usual the office is empty. Save Ian. I think he sleeps here.

8:01AM- First story is already on my desk in the intern room. Get to work.

8:19AM- Damn it. Already on the internet. Jump comically high when Ian opens his door.

8:40AM- Almost fall off my chair again. Wasn’t even doing anything bad this time.

8:53AM– The empty rooms ring with loud repetitive swearing. Ian’s playing the new Tim Minchin song. That’s what I was doing on the net. Feel much less guilty now.

9:09AM- First cup of tea of the day. Its still remarkably quiet. I’m the only intern here today. Dave isn’t even in his office.

9:17AM- The wifi hates doing any work before ten. Which sucks, because it means I have to.

9:25AM- The last sip of tea feels rather depressing today.

9:31AM- The phone is ringing. Still no one here to answer it.

9:37AM- Bloody hell I’m jumpy this morning. Maybe all the funny is getting to me.

9:56AM- The advantage of being the only intern in the intern room is that I feel no inhibitions about lip synching to my iPod. Almost tempted to close the doors and sing out loud. Its that kind of day.

10:06AM- Just remembered I’m expecting an important email today. That’s defiantly why I’ve already checked my email seven times. *cough*

10:13AM- I really shouldn’t Google for this job while I’m logged into Gmail. I think that if Google are going to track my search patterns they should at least give me the chance to explain them.

10:29AM- Microsoft Word just stopped responding. Don’t remember the last time I saved.

10:31AM- I just spent over ten minutes wording the one sentence I lost.

10:39AM- When was the last time I had a cup of tea? Almost two hours ago? Hmm…

10:40AM- Realising that the other interns spurred me on just by being here. Now I’m all alone there’s no one to work harder than. Or maybe its just Friday.

10:50AM- I think its worth saying that my jokes don’t reflect my political views in any way.

11:00AM- Just not getting anywhere. I almost miss my crappy internet. You can’t unplug wifi.

11:06AM- I can’t spell most things but I apparently I can spell Smirnoff.

11:39AM- He he he he he. *pause* he he he. Ah, I crack myself up sometimes. The day is looking up.

11:40AM- Wow. Did you know that pressing Ctrl and D inserts the date? My absurd jumping-ness has taught me something.

11:48AM- Almost lunch time and I finally feel like this joke ship is sailing

12:09PM- Writing week ahead jokes. Ready to stab future tense for ruing some perfectly good lines.

12:47PM- Today is a day for procrastination and really bad puns.

12:53PM- That joke is still funny.

12:59PM- Other advantages to having to room to myself- I can bang my head against the desk without fear of interrogation.

1:21PM- Now Ian’s gone out somewhere. It’s so quiet compared to the buzzing hive activity its been the rest of the week. Feels oddly lonely.

1:28PM- Deicide to ring beccamarsh. Talk to her for ten minutes. Between that and sending an email to my brother I feel remarkably more cheerful.

1:31PM- For about three minutes.

1:56PM- My poor long sighted eyes have been very patient with me over the last few days. Their patience, however, seems to be wearing thin. Feels like I’ll have a cracking headache tomorrow morning.

2:16PM- Come to think of it, I’m not sure this headache is going to wait ‘til tomorrow. You know I’ve never written this many days in a row before. I mean… I’ve never written all day this many days before. That didn’t make any sense. Blegh. I know what I mean. *bangs head on desk*

2:19PM- You may have noticed that today is going rather badly. Honestly the other days have been pretty good. Typical, the day I decide to document turns out to be the crap one. Blegh. *bangs head on desk*

2:26- One more hour. Just survive one more hour and then you can go home.

2:58PM- Ian’s back.

3:07PM- Final read through of my I’ve written.

3:38PM- Packing up. Handing in my work. Going home.

4:12PM- Cheered somewhat by the presence of devastatingly attractive man on my bus for the second day running.

4:50PM- Buy a KitKat on the walk home. Allow myself to skip to celebrate surviving my first week unscathed.

4:57PM- I can’t open the front door. *bangs head on door.*

(For those of you that are wondering- the present tense is justified. I did actually write this on Friday the 30th. And that headache didn’t arrive for a whole week.)

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year