Advice from the past

Considering her life looked like this*, past Alex was pretty smart.
I write an awful lot of things that no one ever sees. I write to record and I write to remember and sometimes I write to make things better. The strange thing is that sometimes I give myself the best advice. That sounds odd but there a moments when putting pen to paper is like talking to someone else.
Recently, while going through a box that never really got unpacked when I moved house, I found a letter I wrote to myself in June last year. Inspired party by the mysterious wisdom of my past self and partly by Lizzy King’s current blog project, I have decided to share it with you.
Dear Alex,
Stop trying to be someone you’re not. Perfect Alex only exists in your head. You’re always going to be a little bit annoying and clumsy and socially inept. But that’s ok. Everyone else is too. And most of the time people seem to like the Alex that you are.
You can’t be all the things to all the people all the time. You don’t have to be glamorous and grownup or whatever imaginary forthright girl it is you think boys want. There are people who believe in you Alex. Proper, wonderful, lovely people who believe that you’re capable of all kinds of things.
That should be enough. There are people who think you’re incredibly brave. And don’t say braver than you are. Whenever someone says something like that, when you get an email from someone who reads the blog, you want to tell them it isn’t true. You aren’t impressive. Just shut up, ok? That’s just like all the times insecure school friends insisted they were fat despite a lot of evidence to the contrary.
Can’t you just let yourself be the person that you are? This is starting to sound like a zarking self-help book. Let go. Stop worrying. Stop kicking yourself for being stupid or embarrassing. Of course you’re going to say the wrong things sometimes.
Remember the orange pants. Imagine the person you want to be, the person you think you’re not, and pretend. Act. Be Liz Lemon. Be Lynda Day. You’re already all those people Alex and they’re just as flawed as you are.
I’m not really sure what this boils down to. Some kind of ridiculous, slightly self-indulgent pep talk.
Be brave Alex. Be the person other people think you are. Do things that scare you. Become everything you know you’re capable of. Say no sometimes. You’re allowed to do that; yes isn’t always the right answer. Go outside.
Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Alex xx
* I have absolutely no idea why I took this photo.

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year