Four years

Four years ago I came to Melbourne, ostensibly to run a comedy website but also (if we’re being honest) to see a boy I’d been flirting with for six months on the internet.
We spent a long weekend having round about conversations on sunlit trams and stilted discussions in basements pubs. It took us too long to talk about what we were doing and what came next. But then we did talk about it. And even though I had come quite prepared to say no – because this was too big and too hard – I didn’t. Instead we tumbled in deep. All in. All at once.

Today we went to the NGV. We held hands while looking at art, just like we did that first weekend. And just like the first time, I appreciated how slowly he looks at art, how carefully he takes everything every piece. Tonight (unlike that first weekend) I am making risotto and we will probably drink wine and read comics in bed and fall asleep beside each other like it’s no big deal.

Four years ago, underneath the fear, I was sure. Some deep part of me was pretty confident falling head first was a good idea. I think that’s why it was scary. 

Love is whack. I’m glad I get to love him.

If you want, you can read more about that first weekend (and the first time I stayed up all night) in The Grapple Annual (available here). 

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year