How my success can be directly attributed to cattle

This week I had my biannual run-in with the local paper.
I only mention this because the recount of my first run-in remains the most viewed post OF ALL TIME, for reasons I am totally unable to explain. I can only imagine that you peeps are utterly fascinated by the idea of me talking to journalists (or French language students but I haven’t encountered any of those for a while).
I have therefore decided to regale you further with similar exploits.
In the last fortnight I’ve actually done three interviews. For a perfectly ordinary, non-famous person that seems like quite a lot. The reason for the unusual level of media attention is that I’m the North Coast winner of Heywire this year. For those of you who live in a metropolitan area (or America or Malta or something) Heywire is a competition run by ABC local radio each year. It encourages young people living in rural areas to tell their stories. A winner is chosen from each ABC region and they get a trip to Canberra to participate in a youth forum. Plus you get hassled by journalists. Win win.
I’ve hardly been able to venture outdoors without people coming up to say congratulations. Not that I go outside much anyway but people recognising me in the street is a bit odd. See I was kind of on the front page. Plus I live in Grafton.
I’ve never really talked much about Grafton, partly because it’s not very interesting. Also a lot of my readers live here already. It makes it easier for them to take my threats seriously. Obviously if you live in Dominica I can’t come over to your house and throw things at you if you don’t read my blog.
So let me tell you about Grafton. You know when you mention where you live to a new acquaintance and they say “I know someone from (insert town)! Maybe you know them!”
Grafton is not small enough that I don’t smile in a slightly pained way when people say this. It is, however, small enough that fifty percent of the time I DO know the person in question, at least in passing.
So when you appear on the front page of the paper people notice. Small children look at you with a small amount of awe. Plus I had a lady in a coffee shop tell me I look prettier in person. Which is nice, but does tell you something of the picture they used.
This whole thing has further driven home the realisation that what I really want to do is work behind the camera. I don’t really want to do stand-up because I’d much rather sit at the back of the room and whisper “that joke was mine” to the person beside me.
Problem is I’ve also spent this weekend in a castle. And as far as I can tell getting famous is pretty much the only way I’m going to be able to afford one.
Either that or I could marry someone royal.
If you fit this description please apply here.      

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year