This is a fire hazard

To celebrate Adventures in TV-Land’s second birthday, I hosted an Internet Party. Here’s what went down…

9:46am- I’m really nervous. I had one of those dreams where the whole thing goes horribly wrong. I thought an internet party would be less nerve wracking than an IRL party. 
10:31am- Have arrived at uni and installed ourselves at a table in the AIC (Auchmuty Information Common). Correct. My uni has an “Information Common”. I’ve been here a year and that is yet to get old.  
10:32am- Weird looks so far- 3. Number of mosquitoes killed- about 29
10:35am- I think its working. FINGERS CROSSED.
10:41am- My webcam isn’t working. On the bright side, Fin’s is so we have a backup. 
10:46am- I’ve officially switched computers. Feel really bad for making Fin use my computer whom he doesn’t like very much. 

10:51pm- I’m officially stuck in that awkward period when none of  the guests have arrived. Normally I fill this by dancing around my lounge room but I’m not in my lounge room and there’s a guy sitting behind me eating Subway. 
10:56am- The advantage of an internet party vs. an IRL one is that the feeling that nobody will show is severely diminished by the fact that two people have already tweeted about it. 

11:04am- Lizzy is HEEEEERE!
11:07am- Beth and Alex (Hobart Alex, henceforth Alex B) are also here. This party is officially a party. 
11:12am- Lizzy is teaching us sign language. We may as well learn something while we’re waiting for the others to arrive. 

11:15am- Now Googling conversation starters. Have found 101. 

11:17am- I tell the others I’m tweeting Britt directions.
Lizzy- “To the INTERNET?!”
11:20pm- TWEET BREAK!

11:35pm- I think Britt and Glenn are here but the camera isn’t working. They are now the abyss. There is just a black square from which sound occasionally emits. We all find this quite amusing. 
11:38am- We’re now having a screenshot break. It is that kind of party.

11:47am- We’re talking about Play School.
11:51am- Now discussing the Wiggles. Apparently there used to be five. Now might be a good time to remind you we are all functioning adults. 

11:54am- The party loudly discusses what the guy who set off the alarm was trying to steal. 
11:59am- Lizzy has gone on a tea break. Beth has lost her shit. These two things are unrelated. 
(On the subject of unrelated things this tweet didn’t fit anywhere narratively but it is funny).

12:01pm- The party now has 6 people in it with the addition of Noni and Lauretta. We try and work out how many states are represented and end up talking about how hot it is in Hobart. 
12:02pm- Alex B- “Hey guys lets talk about the weather!”
12:11pm- Apparently you’re not real until Tim Ferguson follows you on Twitter.
Lizzy- “I’m the REALEST!” 
12:14am- Lizzy finds an article about how to make conversation with nerds. It includes the memorable line- “Nerds like robots. The more the better.”
12:15am- There is a random guy in a red shirt sitting behind me in the library. The Internet Party yell at him a lot. He doesn’t respond.

12:17pm- Sonic scew driver vs. light sabres. It doesn’t take us very long to officially decide the sonic wins. 
12:26pm- Britt and Glenn are finally HEEEERE!

12:27pm- Discussing why #internetparty isn’t trending.
Lizzy-“This is the most Google+ has ever been used so its news!”
Noni- “Felicia Day uses it!”
Alex B- “Yeah but does she have this many friends?”
12:41pm- We’re having a Doctor Who figurine battle. I feel sad because I am at uni and all mine are at home,

Alex B- (hold up random piece of blank paper) “This is physic paper.”
12:46pm- We discuss Lizzy’s shirt. It features a sleeping cartoon book holding a spinning wheel.

Alex- “That looks a lot like a driving wheel. That would be bad. ‘Cause driving while asleep is DANGEROUS.”
12:47pm- Tumblr break. 
1:06pm- We’re finally talking about Doctor Who. There are surprisingly few things we all agree on. 

1:24pm- Problems with internet parties- you can’t play board games. Nothing breaks the ice like board games. 
1:26pm- Somehow we’re talking about Justin Beiber. 
Noni- “Because no one would want to have sex with a  pre-pubescent boy?”
Alex B- “Not even a pre-pubsant girl!”
1:33pm- Beth- “This is me holding a cat in an internet party.”

1:35pm- The guy in the red shirt gets up and walks off. We decide he’s probably going to report us. 
Fin- “If this party gets shut down by the police…”

1:40pm- Asking the big questions. 
Beth- “Where’s my cat.”

1:45pm- Lizzy’s friend Tim is coming. This is awkward because a minute ago Lizzy told us he died. 

1:47pm- We discuss referring to Tim as “Dead Tim” when he arrives. Lizzy tells us to be nice,
1:51pm- Tim’s here! Internet party is now eight strong. 

1:55pm- We’re discussing what super powers we would have.
1:59pm- Somehow Alex B ends up having the super power ability to transform into a hot hair balloon. 

2:02pm- Beth- “I’ve always wanted to be a rainbow lorikeet.”
Alex- “We are the shittest bunch of super hereos ever.”
2:07pm- Noni- “I’d like to be able to convince people to do things.”
Tim- “That’s a bit date rapey…”
Noni- “No, convince them of things they were already thinking about.”
Alex B- “So its like concetual date rape then?”

2:40pm- Following Lizzy’s suggestion and Fin’s gif skills. we have created and are now spreading the “Tumblrweed“. We all follow each other and end up with a whole dash of Tumblrweeds. 

2:51pm- More big questions- where does the poo in the TARDIS go? Does The Doctor poo?
2:55pm- How much does a men’s toilet resemble a prayer room?
2:08pm- Alex B goes to make a sandwich. We all decide to hide so that he can’t see us when he comes back.  

3:12pm- HIDE AND SEEK! This is causing fairly uncontrollable hilarity. Currently there are just a bunch of empty rooms giggling.
3:14pm- Alex comes back. We all loose our shit.

3:24pm- Lizzy has to leave for work, Tim to plan lessons and Lauretta because she has school in the morning. 
3:31pm- The party is wrapping up. There’s only three of us. 

3:33pm- Beth, Alex B and I are stuck in the “You hang up. No YOU hang up.” conundrum. We decide to log off in unison. 

I had no idea how well this party would go. There’s this collection of people, scattered all over the country who I have wanted to invite into my home for some time now. The hardest thing about internet friendships is the distance. Maybe the internet party didn’t fix that but it sure as hell made it a little less crap. 

And sure, there were a bunch of awkward silences and we couldn’t play Trivial Pursuit together but if you look at the screen shots you’ll notice we spent a lot of time laughing. Maybe the weirdest thing was how NOT weird it was. I had never seen at least half of these people before today and yet, as each of them logged on, it was like I’d known them for ages. Maybe because I HAVE known them for ages. 

For such a long time I’ve been aware that my blog has collected wonderful people who I now know and who know me and who, were they to meet, would really like each other. Now they do know each other. I think that’s the best thing about what happened today. It makes me sad that us all being in the same place IRL is neigh impossible. 

When the party ended I was a bit overwhelmed by the sense of distance. Lately its struck me how physical distance can be. How sometimes the vast impenetrableness of kilometres has the power to inflict a strange sort of aching pain. That pain hurts this afternoon. As grateful as I am that these people exist and that, in my random stumblings through life, I’ve managed to bump into them; it sucks that they’re so far away. 

The internet can never be a blessing without being a curse as well. 

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year