Letters to July – Second

I’m going to try and blog every day during July as part of Letters to July. It’s probably a bad idea.
Dear July,
I’m not sure you’re going to be what I expected. June was this intense sudden downpour. It was filled with squalls of work and stress and shallow breathing. Coming so soon off the back of that weather system, I expected our time together to be wet and cold. But today the sun came out.
Today we looked at art. Mum, dad and I wandered through the gallery, looking at paintings of Jesus and I remembered how much my parents know. It’s easy to forget how intelligent people close to you are, to take their knowledge for granted. I admired the colours of the walls (the colours of walls in galleries is a thing I have opinions on) and thought about how I’d like to be a curator in another life. 
I talk so easily with my parents. I think I talk too much. When I’m with my family, I binge on conversations. I have a lot more quiet in my life these days. Boyfriend has taught me a lot about silence. I still struggle sometimes, on the days when he doesn’t want to talk but I do. He plans his words more, saves them. I let mine tumble out, unchecked.
With the honourable exception of one small, inexplicable panic attack (undetectable from the outside), I felt calm today. I haven’t felt calm in weeks. I still feel guilty taking time off when my to do list is expanding in the same relentless, inevitable way that the universe is. I’m not sure I can justify devoting so many hours this month to writing rambling, whimsical blogs. Yet somehow it feels quite important that I do. So here we are. 
Until tomorrow,
Alex x
Letters to July is a project started by Emily Diana Ruth. For more information, click here
Image is an artwork by Tony Oursler, I probably should have written down the title

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year