Neighbours, jaws and belly button lint

Got a problem that you just can’t solve? A niggling worry? Some existential angst? 
Never fear. Alex is here to help.  

Dear Aunty Alex, my jaw hurts all the time at the moment? What’s with that?
What do you think this is, a doctor’s office? What? Yeah okay, take a seat.
My dentist told me that when your jaw gets all clicky it’s because of problems with the cartilage between your jaw and your face. Apparently this can become a problem? I have a clicky jaw. Also my dentist is a god amongst men so you should listen to him.
Alternately you could stop opening your mouth so wide all the time. That’s not helping.
If I can hear the man next door screaming verbal abuse at his wife, should I do something about it? Should note that the wife is probably giving abuse back to him, but his voice carries further. But seriously, is this bystanderism?
This is a hard and serious question. Honestly? I don’t know. You know those moments when you hear someone screaming and you ignore it because its probably nothing? And you worry that you’ll wake up in the morning and discover someone got murdered and then you’ll feel really terrible? Or it that just a thing that I do? Anyway, I don’t know what to do in those moments except worry so I’m probably not the best person to ask.
This is also hard because there’s a chance the they’re just one of those slightly unpleasant couples who yell at each other a lot. If this is the case, then the two most logical courses of action become problematic but I’ll tell you what they are anyway.
The first option is to call the police during one of their fights. This is kind of extreme and also a little awkward if it turns out no one is in any danger. But it is definitely a thing you can do. If you visit Armidale, NSW, you’ll notice a giant road sign on the way into town that encourages this course of action.
The second option is to try and see if the wife is okay. Attempt to catch her around (keep an eye out and go and get your mail when she does, for example) and casually ask if she’s alright, because you’ve heard a lot of shouting. There’s a chance that this approach could get you verbally abused for being a busy-body but maybe it’s worth a try?
I’m not sure this is at all helpful. I hope your neighbours stop yelling.
What’s the best way to reduce stress? I’m all tense from work, and all I want to do is flake out in front of the TV, so I’m also looking for recommendations on what to watch as I chill out.
It is difficult to give advice in this situation because relaxation viewing is subjective. Because of this I’m going to pretend that you are actually me in disguise and offer advice accordingly. Hi me! So you’re a bit stressed? I get that, I’ve been a bit stressed too. A couple of weekends ago I was feeling super-duper stressed and bummed out and I ended up watching the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie which I haven’t seen in agesand that was an excellent decision. That’s a good movie that makes me happy. Another thing that’s been making me less stressed is that I started watching Parks and Recreation. Knowing I can come home every night and watch another episode has got me through some pretty shitty days. It is happy and nice and great. Do not watch violent shows about vampires having a lot of sex. Reading books about people’s fathers committing suicide is also not recommended. You want happy and light and familiar. Watch something you know all the words to.
Why is my belly button lint always blue, even when I wear read shirts?
I’m pretty sure there’s a scientific reason for this but I’ve forgotten what it is. I think it’s got something to do with washing machines or sweat or something. Because I haven’t answered your question, here is a short story instead: when I was in year 6 I had this really scary teacher. She was a lot like Mrs Trunchbull from Matilda (she even looked like her). She claimed that she was saving all her husband’s belly button lint in a big jar and when she had enough she was going to use it to make a pillow for their dog. This is a true story.
What is the best style of eyebrow?
How do I make it up to my family and friends that I’ve only talked to them about exams for the past 2 weeks?
Cake.
If you’ve got a question for Aunty Alex you can email it to ask.aunty.alex{at}gmail.com

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year