Thank-you is a strange word.

Most of the time its so easy to say. We say it all the time. Thanks for holding that door open for me. Thanks for lending me this book. Thanks for letting my car go in front of your car. Thanks for saying nice things about my socks.

The weirdest thing about this word though is that when it matters the most it becomes surprisingly easy to forget it. When the gratitude reaches a certain level your brain shelves the whole “thank-you” idea until it can think of a better way to express those feelings. Because thank-you is totally inadequate.
Suddenly you realise that, not only have you not come up with a better idea, you haven’t actually done anything at all. And maybe the person in question isn’t even aware of how much you owe them.

So thank-you.

Yes. That preamble was actually directed at you guys. I realised recently that I’ve never mentioned how much you mean to me or how hugely I am in your debt. Does that sound weird? Maybe it does. All you do is read my blog and occasionally comment or tweet at me. But its actually rather a lot more than that.

Sometimes life is kind of awful and hard. (I wish I could tell you about some of the times life has been awful and hard but, even though we are friends, this is the internet and you never know who could be listening). On those days, when I want to give up, I find myself thinking about the people who read my blog.

I’m trying to work out a way to say this that doesn’t sound cheesy. There probably isn’t one. There are people out there who believe in me. Real, wonderful, amazing people who believe that I can do anything (within reason, I think even The Internet would have difficultly believing I could represent Australia at ice hockey, for example). You peeps have inspired me to be a braver, more confident, BETTER person. Sometimes you are the difference between “I think I shall stay at home and drink tea” and “No dammit I can DO this.” You’ve got a lot to do with the whole orange pants thing.

I love my real life friends. I’ve spent a lot of time lately appreciating how absurdly lucky I am to have found these people. And I love that they read my blog and then casually mention they liked a post. Those of you I met at a thing once- I love that The Internet means we’ll be better friend next time we catch up.

There are lots of readers who I don’t know. Lots of nameless, faceless people who only show up as a little blip on the stats page or the occasional like on the Facebook page. Thanks for giving me a little part of your time. Your blips make my day.

But there’s something very special about being friends with a total stranger. About someone stumbling across my blog (by whatever kind of accident) and deciding to come back. About finding someone, in the infinite void that is the virtual world, who shares all these things with you.

There are some of you I should have thanked a long time ago.
Lauretta- who I’ve known her for almost two years now. I’ve got a lot of face-to-face friends I haven’t known that long.
Beth- who has cheered me up any number of times when I have been sad (you probably don’t even know that Beth, but you have).
Lizzy– who’s blog is part of why I look forward to Mondays and who’s another reason TiNA is going to be so great.
Evan- who I think might succeed at comedy despite my rubbish advice.
And Britt– who, maybe one day, I will get to talk about Press Gang with.

Virtual hugs for all.

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year