This question is mandatory

In which Alex answers questions what people asked.

This is a clue.

If you had to bake a cake to get out a life or death situation would you 
a) make something average you were totally confident with and knew you wouldn’t stuff up, or 
b) attempt a creation worthy of Zumbo that there is only a 1% chance you will succeed in pulling off in an edible fashion? (But if you manage it, you will have your greatest life wish granted.)
I think you are seriously underestimating my ability to make cake. Like I am pretty good at making cake. I think, if my life was on the line, I’d make something I was familiar with. If I made an average cake I might get off with being sold into slavery or something. Whereas if I made something which wasn’t even recognisable as cake, I’d definitely die. If I was going to take the risk and attempt something impressive, I’d make something out of a Nigella book. I would trust Nigella with my life*. Because Nigella has only ever failed me once and that was in regard to macaroons. And no one knows how to make macaroons.
*In cake based life-or-death situations.

How do you write a blog every week?! 
I spend a slightly terrifying amount of time and brain space on it. I’m always planning blogs. There’s some little thing at the back of my brain ticking away almost 100% of the time. And sure, sometimes it is hard. I think I am heard uttering the words “Shit! Its Sunday tomorrow!” at least 90% more often than the average person. Something that really helps is, when I have a surplus of time (like during the summer holidays), I START a lot of blogs. I get all the half formed ideas that have been sloshed around my head, put them in a word document and save it. That way I have a sort of rainy day file.

Making myself post once a week eliminates the “but I can’t put this online because this is a fetid heap of dingos kidneys” self-doubt complex we all have. I know a lot of bloggers and vloggers say they can’t post regularly because if they’re uninspired they’d make crap. But a lot of the blogs that people have told me they really loved are the ones I really, really didn’t want to post. Because I thought they were crap. Having a deadline makes you bite the bullet and stop questioning yourself.

The following four questions are curtsey of “I’m sure you can work out [my identity]. Just ask me if you’re stuck.” 
How do you feel about preserved meats?
I like preserved meats. My dad bought this super amazing ham for Christmas and damn it was good. Also bacon is technically a preserved meat. And bacon is in the top 50 Greatest Things Ever of All Time.

What is your greatest life achievement to date?
That’s hard. But I’ve narrowed it down to two things.
The first is writing 50,000 words. Sure, they’re still a jumble of unfinished plot that need a damn good copy edit but…for a long time I thought that maybe that was something I’d never do. And it might become something which could vie for uncontested rights to being my greatest achievement.
The second thing is this blog. Shut up. I love this blog.

What is the answer to a question you would really like to be asked?
Oh god yes.

What is the aforementioned question?   
Would you like to spend several weeks analysing minor events in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy with particular reference to minor characters, fleeting puns and the ways in which the various versions differ from each other but are all still really excellent?

Favorite family holiday destination and why?
My family has a beach house at a tiny coastal town near Grafton. We’ve been going there all my life. When I was little we’d drive all the way across from Dubbo to stay for two week in July. The place is practically deserted for most of the year. I think it might be my favourite place in the world*. It is, in the very truest sense of the word, idyllic.

I’d tell you where it is but then you might come and visit and find out how awesome it is and then come back and bring all your friends. And there’s nothing I hate more than people coming to our beach. Here are some hints. You can work it out yourself using Google maps.
– It is less than an hour’s drive from Grafton
– The water supply comes from two huge fresh water lakes
-I have given you a picture
– There is only one shop and it doesn’t even show up on Google maps
-The town is almost completely surrounded by national parks. There’s even marine park out to sea.
– If you are the person who asked this question you have been there a heap of times.
*Of all the places I have been.

Um, um, this is difficult. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICAL?
Alex “from Hobart”; but if you end up wanting to sell identities to the Russians, I can be Andrew Beel “from Hobart, Indiana, USA”
If Muppet Treasure Island counts as a musical then my favourite musical is Muppet Treasure Island. And I’m officially saying that it counts because they sing a lot. The songs are really great. In fact the whole movie is THE GREATEST because it is MUPPETS in TREASURE ISLAND and they are two of my favourite things.
*pause for people who know me IRL to sigh because she’s talking about Muppet Treasure Island again*

Why did you make this question mandatory?
Because you know when writing blogs is the hardest? During Christmas holidays. And do you know what’s a lot less hard than writing a blog? Answering a lot of random questions.

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Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year