What am I doing?

Metaphor.
Sometime over the next couple of months this blog will be undergoing a long overdue redesign. I don’t know what Adventures in TV-Land will look like when he (my brother) is done but I do know that it will look different. There’s a lot of stuff on this page that I feel as though I’ve outgrown.
And that doesn’t just go for the aesthetic. I’ve felt for a while that things need to change a little around here. The problem is that I have no idea how. I don’t think I know what this blog is anymore. I’ve had a blogging crisis before, when I moved from blogging about my actual adventures in television (are there readers who have no idea that the name used to be literal?) and toward blogging about my life more generally. When that happened I was terrified that I would lose readers.
What I’m only just realising now is that maybe during that transition I also lost my niche.
What I do doesn’t really fit anywhere. It sits awkwardly within the communities of bloggers that exist because this isn’t a craft blog or a literary blog or a blog about motherhood. This is a blog about… me. It has things in common with “mummy” blogs except that I don’t have a child to hold all the fragments of thought together. It bears some resemblance to vlogging but it’s only words. This blog is just me, sitting down each week to write about whatever happens to be in my head. Sometimes I wonder if that’s enough.
The redesign seems like as good a time as any to rethink what it is I’m doing here.  I feel a little as though I’m blogging into the abyss again. I know that maybe that’s just because people are reading in silence. It’s that age-old conundrum: if someone reads your blog but doesn’t interact with you, how do you know that they aren’t a Russian?
I feel like for every reader I gain, another one drops off. We’re not moving forward. This week a thought struck me out of nowhere and it was this: maybe that’s because I’m not getting any better. Maybe my content is too sporadic to draw new readers. Maybe I’m not really anything consistently. I don’t know.
Where am I going? What is it that I’m hoping to achieve with this blog? Maybe all this is just a reflection of my state of mind right now. In fact you can expect more blogs soon which riff on the theme of indecision and uncertainty. I know that this could be a moment that will pass but there’s enough niggling doubt that I need to look at this seriously. I need to see if there’s anything in it. 
Maybe this blog, just like me, needs to grow up a bit and move into the next stage of its life.
PS:
I’ve been struggling for a while (read: about a year and a half) with the idea of money. When I talked about taking a break from doing things for free, I realised that I never stopped doing this. That’s an awful lot of hours and an awful lot of words and yet this blog has never directly earned me any money. 
I think I need to investigate the possibility of earning money from this, even if it’s only a little bit. I think that, long-term, that’s important.
I really want to know what you think about that. Here are some options to consider. It really would be great to hear your thoughts.
Advertising: I’m not really sure advertising is a viable option for me but I have considered running small, cheap ads for things like blogs, online stores, comedy rooms etc. Other blogs seem to do this to great effect.
Donate button: that’s the traditional option. There’s still something a little weird about it really. But it’s pretty non-invasive and whatnot.
This thing: I came across this site yesterday and part of me likes the idea. I haven’t fully investigated the viability of it. But it’s…interesting, I guess.
What do you think? Do you have any other ideas? Thoughts? Comments? Etc?

Further reading

December – home

I spent the first minutes of 2018 on the beach. I’ve never actually spent New Year